paper-mario-wiki:

David Hasselhoff and his brother, 

Davíd Hasselhoff

David and Davíd amongst a group of commoners

“it’s okay brother, they will not hurt you”

too anxious to bare, Davíd starts wildly thrashing around, making many of the surrounding people back up to safety. David attempts to calm him down and is bitten in the process

the venom spreads, and david is soon dead.

rest in peace david hasselhoff

if you have any idea of the whereabouts of

Davíd Hasselhoff, please contact your local authorities