animentality:

captainsnoop:

oh god i just realized I never told one of my favorite stories on this site and I don’t know how I managed to skip it for so long but I’ve told the midna story like four times

ok, so back in middle school, i had this social studies teacher. let’s call her. miss styles. because that rhymes with her real name. i’m very clever.

this woman was batshit insane. 

not batshit insane like she was incredibly anal-retentive or mean or anything. she was legitimately crazy. 

like, we had her for a good half a year and she never once taught us anything useful.

you wanna know why? 

because she spent every period teaching us about shit like magic, conspiracy theories, and showing us Mulan 2 on VHS

seriously, Mulan 2 was like every other class period with her. no exaggeration. I watched the first 45 minutes of that movie so many fucking times. 

there are two stand-out incidents with her that I remember:

1. the period where she ranted about the magical, reality-bending abilities of tibetan monks, complete with pictures of monks allegedly levitating while meditating. we spent that period attempting to levitate our classmates through “positive energy” and anyone that couldn’t be levitated was weighed down with negative thoughts
2. the period where she tried to unlock our latent psychic abilities by having us focus really hard on crumpled up pieces of paper. if we could move the paper with our mind, we were rewarded with candy. turns out our class was full of psychics that used the magical power of “blowing air out of our nose” to move the paper

despite an entire half a year of this shit, nothing really came of the fact that she was insane until one day when she decided to segregate the class by race. I wasn’t in the class when this happened so I’ve only heard what happened second-hand, but evidently she started going on a rant about racial superiority. 

ms. styles was black herself and the class in question was predominately black and latino. whatever she said and did in the classroom pissed off EVERYBODY in the room, though, and the entire class got up and walked out on her to complain to the principal. I never got a clear answer on what she said, too much hearsay, but it was evidently pretty heinous. allegedly one kid was driven to crying. 

anyway: she got fired. the staff had no idea that this shit was going on with her, the magic, the mulan 2, none of it. the school did some digging and it turns out she had also completely falsified her teaching credentials. she wasn’t actually a teacher. she was an insane black white supremacist that believed in conspiracy theories and magic that faked her teaching credentials to teach a bunch of 13 year olds about “the real history” and also to make them watch Mulan 2 every other day. 

sounds like a teacher lemony snicket would dream up