La pomme d’eau. La pomme de terre. Le pomme de feu. La pomme d’air. Il y a très longtemps ces quatre patates vivaient en harmonie. Mais un jour, la pomme du feu décida de passer à l’attaque.
You really don’t need to know a damn thing about French to understand this whole fucking post.
tea drinkers: unlike you filthy disgusting creatures i only drink green chamomile peppermint raspberry lemon tea, which makes all my insides glow 10 times brighter and improve. i can feel my body get healthier by every drink i take of my delicious hot mug of TEA. youre absolutely disgusting and a waste of human potential
coffee drinker: hhhnng lov those beans
someone tagged this as #tw drama
coffee drinkers: i am unimaginably powerful. i can see through time. i haven’t slept in four days but who needs sleep when you are on a higher plane of existence. the beans are in my soul, they are in my heart. i AM the beans. soon i will vibrate at the harmonic resonance of the universe and transcend.
tea drinker: hhhhhhhhhhhot leaf juice
soda drinkers: death is coming. death is coming. pass me a hotdog.
energy drink drinkers: (just the fucking kill bill sirens played on repeat for eternity)
One of the most tedious responsibilities of adulthood: cooking food and eating it. I mean, I like food, but must i go through this process every day?? a couple of times a week should do
I found this Youtube channel run by a Japanese chef and it’s actually better than porn? First all all his cinematography is off the charts. Youtube videos have no business looking that good. Second of all, everything he makes looks SO TASTY, and he explains the recipes in such a simple, soothing, manner. Third off all, he does this all while his two adorable kitties watch??? Like… they are so intent on what hes doing but they never run around or hop on the counter???? He has a stool for them to sit on as he makes his recipes Im gunna die
Look at this and tell me it isnt the best thing on youtube
he and his (American) wife have a youtube vlogging channel all about being an international couple and they have thREE CATS THAT HE COOKS WITH
This is the least relatable and most infuriating cooking video I’ve seen to date.
I love how out of nowhere he casually drops that one of the ingredients in the dish takes a fucking WEEK to prepare.
First, pop your tuna steaks, bowl, and meat grinder in your Samsung Smart Freezer for ten minutes.
That gives us enough time to blend these vegetables together and let it ferment for ten days.
When your ten minutes and ten days have simultaneously passed, we’re ready to grind and combine. But you know this. Everyone’s had tuna tartare before.
Now, you’re going to take your gold leaf and marinate that in about 3 gallons of Rose for at least 75 hours. This is a crucial part of tuna tartare, as you know. You can put your tartare back in the freezer, but for no more than ten minutes at a time. I like to get my butler, Chauncey, to stand watch of the tuna and make sure it goes for a walk in our greenhouse every 3 hours. Next, grab your toast. I like to get mine fresh from Morocco, so you’re gonna have to book a flight at least 7 weeks in advance from this dish.
I like to make my friends WATCH the fish go through the grinder. A party isn’t a party until my friends watch me grind fish meat
This still pisses me off a full 24 hours later and I’m glad others share my ire
This is one of the most infuriating things I’ve watched thanks I hate it
my favourite thing is him dropping in casually the smoked olive oil that you yourself are supposed to hot smoke
I’m literally dying
like the dish actually looks great but it’s so hard to see that under the thick layer of GO FUCK YOURSELF
this is extremely tone deaf for us standard edition people, but it is an advertisement for people who have the Insane Amounts of Money to drop on that crazy ass refrigerator and on a huge ass chunk of red tuna for a snack.
So what you get at the end is the wildest piece of culinary comedy possible for the actual masses.
you want to take a meat grinder– you have a meat grinder, right? well everyone knows your meat grinder needs to be the same temperature as the meat you grind by hand
my favorite part of this is alongside shit like “prepare a mason jar of sriracha a week in advance & take it out once a day to stir” sliding by way too casually, u also have such insightful gems as “how to fucking REMOVE AN AVOCADO PIT” what audience is this FOR
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