classical-crap:

violin

pro: really agile instrument capable of large leaps and scale runs

con: open e string

viola

pro: gooood tone quality

con: alto clef

cello

pro: has a deep lower register and a very emotionally intense upper register

con: the players always fucling rush

double bass

pro: super important for helping the orchestra sound full

con: have fun carrying that thing everywhere

flute

pro: can play really fast melodic lines

con: piccolo

clarinet

pro: comes in many sizes, including bass and piccolo clarinet

con: comes in many sizes, including bass and piccolo clarinet

oboe

con: oboe

bassoon

pro: has a very distinct sound and is important in orchestral textures

con: it is a giant toot pipe

trumpet

pro: is the highest-pitched of the brass instruments and has a triumphant sound

con: is a transposing instrument (which goes for a lot of the spit instruments)

trombone

pro: slidey slide

con: I literally know nothing about trombone

tuba

pro: doot do doot do doot do dodododoot do doot

con: it weighs like half a person

piano

pro: works wonderfully as a solo instrument

con: works wonderfully as a solo instrument but composers refuse to believe that performers don’t have more than ten fingers

harp

pro: just listen to it

con: pedals

percussion

pro: provides rhythm and sound effects that the orchestra could not have without it

con: sitting within two feet of the bass drum and the cymbals

guitars

pro: work nicely as solo instruments and for providing chords

con: those people who learn four chords or one bass line and suddenly think they’re god. also for acoustics: dropping your pick into your instrument